The Best Team Players are Selfish First

A good buddy that I coached with for years used to joke that “the worst kind of fish is a ‘selfish” and we always howled when he said it. In some ways there was truth to this and in other ways not.

According to Merriam Webster, the word selfish has the following two main definitions:

• concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others; and,
• arising from concern with one’s own welfare or advantage in disregard of others

When you consider these points you realize that in sports and business you want people to be selfish first, and a good teammate second.

Lunacy, Tim! What on earth do you mean? Isn’t selfish the worst kind of fish???

The picture above calls it self-care.

Allow me to elaborate. Let’s start with the sports perspective. As a coach I want every player to be selfish (see definitions above) – in their own preparation and development. This is because a player can only focus on their own situation, not anyone else’s. If a player does not focus on their own preparation and training they will not be able to consistently deliver what the team needs to be successful in games.

If I am wasting mental space “worrying” about how my teammates are doing then I am taking away focus from my own preparation and development. This is not good.

Flip over to a business perspective. If employees are not selfish in their personal development and improvement how can they be counted on to deliver when their colleagues need them.

One definition of team I like is: “Do your job and trust your teammate will do theirs.”

This mindset must obviously include what an individual does in the off season and even during the season when no one is watching. All the little things you do to improve your mental and physical skills can accumulate into better performance by you, and for your team.

Look at this concept from another view. If you are not selfishly putting in the time to be ready for the season then you are falling behind.

“Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard, is a powerful statement. But when you have talent and hard work combined you are virtually unstoppable whether in sports or business.

Every winning game plan includes talent acquisition and development tactics that result in talent retention. Many successful sports teams are consistently at the top of their respective league because they “draft and develop” high end talent. Adding in some “free agents” that have already proven themselves in their sport can create an extraordinarily strong team.

When a free agent is added the character of that person is extremely important to factor in so that there is a net gain to the team and not a net loss or distraction. Armchair quarterbacks will pick apart a team for overpaying for a free agent that doesn’t pan out and bring the requisite talent and results that were hoped for when the player was acquired.

Remember that there are always exceptions. Not all great players will be great on another team – too many variables in terms of players, coaching, management, and such, to predict the level of future success.

Every generalization is false…including this one.

In business, an often used adage is “hire for talent and train for skill.” This is fine, but there is a responsibility of the employee to continue to develop on their own, too.

In business, I am not talking about spending your life and all your free time doing taking training and development programs. You must have a balance in your life. I am suggesting that if you want to be noticed (for the right reasons) and provide opportunities for personal growth and development and challenge then you have to have a selfish mindset. You are in control of your own destiny – why leave it in someone else’s hands. If you do…don’t whine later.

I wanted to play pro football…and I did. I played with guys that had more talent, but I know how hard I worked and all the little things I did that not all of them did. And this is not a criticism. Some did not want to play past university and that is OK. I did so there was more I had to do.

In business, I wanted to achieve certain goals…and I did. I did a lot of personal development and I still do. I set personal targets and identify what I needed to do to achieve them. Lots more checkmarks than x-marks.

And in both sports and business I was a good teammate. I supported my mates, encouraged them, and accepted victories and defeats with them.

This is part of life.

And I know that to be a good teammate, I had to, selfishly, be a good “Tim-mate” first.

Onward!

Tony Soprano on Management

The Sopranos is one of my favourite TV series of all time. HBO Canada is currently running all the episodes on consecutive nights in celebration of the 25^th anniversary.

How you doin?

There is an interesting book that I picked up at a used book shop, “Tony Soprano on Management.” The subtitle is, “Leadership Lessons Inspired by America’s Favorite Mobster.” Amazing how a fictional character can be assessed and his management style woven into a business book.

The author, Anthony Schneider, created this unauthorized book on his own accord. Like me, Mr. Schneider is a marketing consultant and leadership coach. I suppose I feel a kinship on this front, too.

Like any other leader, Soprano deals with an array of employee and business issues every day:

• Staffing problems – hiring and firing (literally in some cases), as well as ongoing performance management (the envelope feels a bit light this week – you are not the earner I thought you would be).
• Business issues – running legitimate businesses (a strip club and waste management) and the associated day to day and competitive challenges that arise.
• Private business deals – running high roller poker games complete with catered food, professional dealers, and sundry other “extras.”
• Competitive Dynamics – if we do “this” and our competitor does “that” what will we do next?
• Labour issues – providing onsite union guidance for labour on major projects – for a fee for service, or non-service as the case may be (paid to be a no-show???).
• Celebrating success – not always with family, but always with friends and business associates.
• Integrating family into business – he deals with other “families” that are also in similar business ventures.
• And so on…

The book is a treasure trove of tools and approaches to help you deal with your business issues (aside from the “whacking”).

The one thing the character did and that great leaders should do is “ACT.” While Tony would contemplate an issue, he acted and resolved it a lot sooner than many real businesses (certainly faster than government bureaucracy). Although Carmela, his wife in the series, said it first, this Cicero quote was used by Tony in the same episode with a rival mob family leader. “More is lost by indecision than wrong decision.” And for anyone that has watched the series you know there were wrong decisions, but seldom indecision.

I use the concept of a football team’s game plan and adapted it for business application in the same way as the author did with the Soprano character and management. Not everything is a linear and direct example. Context is important. Knowing what fits and what doesn’t is also essential to ensure you are applying the game plan concept correctly. If you have never played high level football you won’t likely understand the football aspect of the game plan. However, the principles of review, planning, execution, adjustment, and measurement hold true for your business game plan just as in football. And you must have a strategy that is articulated in your game plan. This approach holds for the book and its management lessons, too.

Reading a book like this allows me to stretch my brain and thought process the same as listening to a terrific business podcast or reading a superb business book. There are always things I learn and agree with, and just as often something that I cannot completely reconcile. And yet, being judgement free, there is nothing lost for me. Sometimes the opposite of a good idea is another good idea. There is always a takeaway that gets stored for future reference. Or maybe when I teach at the university or chair a leadership session.

The good news is always – you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But if you choose to you can go places, kid. There is a consequence for eery decision you make or avoid.

Disclaimer: I am not suggesting that you act like a mob boss in your real life. No “whacking” or cement shoes or other stereotypical shenanigans. Be a good person and do good things for the right reasons. Please don’t have your morals and ethics surgically removed.

The first step is “know thyself.”

Otherwise…well, fuhgeddaboudit.

I don’t have to if I don’t want to…

statement is true in every situation in my life where there is a choice to make.

Because there is a consequence of doing it or not doing it. A good consequence or a not so good consequence.

Period…end of post…

Not so fast. Context is needed and heads need to be scratched.

I write this weekly post…but I chose not to last Thursday. Personal reasons that I felt were more important so I didn’t write this for Thursday. Hence posted on Monday. The other consequence, which was nice, was that some readers sent a note asking if everything was all right (it isn’t) but it was nice to feel wanted.

Here are a few other things that I don’t have to do and the potential consequences:

• I don’t have to eat your fruits and veggies. And I will not be as healthy as if I did eat them.
• I don’t have to do my homework. And I won’t get good grades and you won’t learn as much from the training.
• I don’t have to do good work. And I may not have a client.
• I don’t have to show up for work. And I may not have a job.
• I don’t have to be considerate of others. And I am a dingus and it sucks when it happens to me.
• I don’t have to feel sorry for myself. And I can be grateful for the life I have and the choice to make it even better.
• I don’t have to be mean to people lower on the corporate ladder. And I am a dingus and what does it prove? And there is someone higher than me (there is always someone higher than you) that may treat me the same way.
• I don’t have to get better at any part of my job. And I will stay in my current position and I may be miserable as promotions pass me by. Or I may not…
• I don’t have to want to climb the corporate ladder. And I am happy with the quality of work that I do and the range of challenges and responsibilities I deal with every day. I am satisfied.
• I don’t have to drink and drive. And that is the wise choice – otherwise really bad things can, and almost always do, happen.
• I don’t have to be an idiot. And for some folks this is hard to accept, but, you have a choice.
• I don’t have to self-study or invest in myself. And others will move past me…and I will not reach my potential.
• I don’t have to say mean things. And people will respect and trust me.
• I don’t have to become a partner in a law/accounting/consulting/advertising firm. And that is OK if I am a good person and do good work because I am valuable to myself, my colleagues, and my clients.
• I don’t have to vote. And then I am stuck with someone else making the choice of government for me. I vote!!!!!!!!!!!
• I don’t have to be a good husband or a good father. And I will lose out on a terrific family life. I try hard and always room for improvement.
• I don’t have to live within the law. And I will face legal consequences if I make this choice.
• I don’t have to make customer-centric policies. And I will lose customers.
• I don’t have to treat colleagues with respect. And they won’t respect me back…or worse, the really good ones will leave me.
• I don’t have to agonize over every life decision. Although I mostly do. And some are easier than others.
• I don’t have to worry what others are thinking or saying about me on social media. And this way I will not be negative or forced to listen to dumb comments.
•  I don’t have to prep for a presentation or client meeting or when I teach a class. And the poor results will 100% impact if I get asked to do work for them again.

And there are a whole lot more. Any good ones you are faced with???

Tim’s Thursday Thoughts is a judgment free zone for you. I only judge myself or obviously bad/wrong things. I have a choice in who and what I comment on because there is a consequence if I do or if I don’t…and I can live with myself as a result. Can you?